As Barbara Stanny once said in her book, Overcoming Underearning, this is one of life’s great conundrums.
Do you say you want to create an intimate relationship? Really?
If so, why do you avoid vulnerable conversations with your partner? Why you don’t put in time and effort to see where their action/reaction is coming from by going beyond your story?
You must have a reasonable reason not to talk…I’ve been there.
But it’s difficult to create an intimate relationship without communicating authentically.
What you really want is to stay comfortable or be right— not to talk. What you ask for is a beautiful relationship.
How many times have you said you want to be fit? Yes, you want to be fit.
But you are not motivated to go to the gym or exercise.. You keep procrastinating, then you start thinking that you don’t have the willpower or discipline.
What you really want is comfort. What you ask for is a strong and lean body. So you get the comfort of extra sleep, drinking and eating, binge-watching or social time, which does not result in a body you believe you want.
We often hear the phrase, “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”
I used to think, of course, I want to be happy, but why do I have to compromise my integrity over happiness?
What I really wanted was righteousness. What you asked for was happiness.
This realization was a game-changer to me.
You are not inferior or special about doing all the above. This conundrum is a normal human condition. You tricked your mind!
Once we see what’s happening and how powerful we are to create what we want, we can play a different game.
Do you see something that you can relate to?
