After six months of separation, I had a moment to see and connect with his essence (his beautiful quality) in the midst of a difficult situation. I realized that he is whole and complete. He doesn’t belong to me; it was not about fear of losing. It sounds obvious, but it was a huge turning point for me.
I hadn’t seen his essence for a long time because I had been focusing on what was wrong with him, what he didn’t provide me, he didn’t love me in the way I thought he should…
After that moment, the wall that I created higher and stronger over the years started melting down. My learning and inner work through coaching, which had previously stayed in my head, came down and integrated with my heart.
The separation was a necessary process for me —it was the beginning of expressing what I want. This required tremendous courage for a woman who didn’t like to make a mistake.
Every transformation requires a certain process, the period of unknown.
After my BEing had shifted, my husband got confused and didn’t trust what he was seeing at first. I was not the person he knew for a while.
As I changed, he changed. Our marriage transformed miraculously instantaneously.
There is reciprocality to everything happening in all relationships. We all contribute to the relationship, so it’s never one person’s fault.
If you are willing to create a relationship you desire, it’s necessary to look inside and focus on your own part.
It’s not about changing a partner; it’s not about looking for the perfect partner.
A marriage doesn’t have to be saved, but if you don’t look inside to do your own work, you are likely to re-create a similar relationship with another person.
