I hated to be asked what I did. The best answer I could give was “I am just a stay-at-home mom.”
People say that it is the most important job. I am not sure that’s what people really think, but that would be beside the point. I was the one who didn’t like the title “stay-at-home mom”. Even if they were genuine comments, I couldn’t receive it.
I started my life as a career-oriented person and I didn’t like children before I had my own. I was planning to work all of my life. I never even dreamt of becoming a mom even though it was my choice to have a child.
I love my boys and I have devoted my life to them. I did anything that I believed would make them shine. I am proud of what I have done, still, I couldn’t accept myself for who I was.
I had so many judgments towards stay-at-home moms.
Things I learn to do to overcome or compensate were;
- Don’t talk about what I do.
- Criticize working moms.
- Envy and resentment to my husband who works long hours.
- Place high expectations on my children.
- Justify why I had to do.
- Try to prove I am not a typical stay-at-home mom.
My own belief made it impossible for me to be happy, relax, appreciate my husband, respect myself, and take full responsibility for my life.
I said to my coach, I Intellectually know my belief, “stay-at-home mom is unworthy”, is not true. What he said to me hit me hard.
“The intellectual things that people say always messes you up. You take a bunch of actions from this belief like you believe that you are dumb, lazy, and boring. As a result of those beliefs, you don’t talk about it, you downplay it, and you are sad about it, That reinforces your belief and makes it true. Intellectually this is true. You are kind of boring because you don’t’ share much of your gift. This is real. Your belief made it real. “
I decided to create a new belief, a different relationship with “a stay-at-home mom” which I’ve done for 15 years.
I freed myself from the prison I put myself in. It’s an inside job.
I started proudly saying that I’ve been a stay-at-home mom two years ago.
I am now a full-time life coach, no longer a stay-at-home mom, but owning that part of myself has a significant meaning for me.
